Mucky Melbourne

Many years ago, but not as many as you think, there was a guy who would pick up your dunny can from a hole out the back of your outside toilet and replace it with a clean one. It was a shitty job but from stuff I've read it wasn't as bad as it sounded. My mum told me the local dunny guy was so good at it when her mum had the squirts he took the dunny away and replaced it before she spilled a drop of liquid brown. When a house was being built the first thing built was usually the toilet for the tradies to use. That was one reason why the shit collector had a job for years after most outdoor toilets were gone.   As you can see in this photo they were huge and had clips to seal it on the side so the guy could prevent spills. If he spilled any the local council insisted he had to clean it up asap. In the book "The Dunny Man" by John Gardner, it described the end result of the rare spill as "You'd have more gravy on you than a Sunday roast"  The dunn...

Sorry about that, not much has been happening here lately. Real life has been chaotic as fuck. Redundancy, unemployment, new job, Fringe Festival, Comedy festival..... I will try to update stuff here on a more regular basis. Fingers crossed I dont get slack again.

I really fucking love this ad for a disco from The Truth in 1972 I love the border text MUSIC - LOVE - GROG , its so fucking aussie. Only $2.50 to get in and a delicious meal is included, but it starts at 6pm on a sunday night. I found out years after it closed that the Chevron's dancefloor was built over a swimming pool. On Monday morning after they closed for the week they'd put down rat poison. Then when they returned on wednesday they sweep up the dead rats that'd crawl up from the swimming pool hole under the dancefloor. I imagine the swimming pool under the dancefloor being half filled with the remnants of booze.

Fights between nazi dickheads and students have been going on for years. Here's an example from 1972. As usual the media says the left are as bad as the right, but then admits the nazi dickheads will cop a beating if they get caught. I also laughed at the first of the things the reporter said they had in common. Melbourne Truth, Saturday, June 17, 1972 Someone will be killed One of these cold wintry days, the thugs of the Nazi movement in Australia and the thugs of the Workers Student Alliance will start belting hell out of each other. These groups are bound to have a head-on clash and when they do, plenty of blood will be let. But to what extent? Will it stop at a few broken bones and the odd flattened nose - or will one of these louts makes the supreme sacrifice? These so-called Nazis and the students involved in this conflict have only two things in common: Nearly all of them need a wash And all of them are becoming pests to society Nazis On The Run   The...

Tickets Please Bill Swaine  During one evening shift on the Coburg line, we received an urgent call to go to Royal Park station. On arrival we found a considerable amount of blood on the platform and in the doorway of the office. On entering the office there was a middle-aged man sitting in a chair clutching himself, and literally soaked in blood. Also in the office was the SM (station master) and a middle-aged lady. It transpired that the man had exposed himself to the lady on the train, and far from being phased, she immediately applied the toe of her shoe with considerable force to the offending area, resulting in a severe laceration and profuse bleeding. When the train reached Royal Park she had to help him from the train to seek help from the station staff. The ambulance arrived and carted him off to hospital, and a prosecution eventually followed. from  Life on Victorian Railways by Nick Anchen  I wonder how he explained it to friends and family. Did h...

Its almost that time of year again, buy lots of tickets, bring your friends, have a great time and laugh your arse off The NSFW Mucky Melbourne Walking Tour 2017 The Reverend Grebo will take you on a tour of Mucky Melbourne. Learn about the tits, the toilets, the turds, the soldiers, the sex workers, the saunas, the semen, the buggery, the bars, the beats, the bushrangers, the bestiality, the porn, the prince, the parties, the priests, the perverts, the frigging, the fighting and the food riots. Bring your toughest walking shoes because its going to get down and dirty As well as being Melbourne’s only Smut Scholar, the Reverend Grebo is ordained into the Universal Life Church, the Church of the Latter-day Dude, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Church of the Subgenius and is a Pope of Discordia. Warning:   Contains course language, adult themes, explicit descriptions of historical events

Many years ago there used to be urinals in this little alleyway off Centre Place. Im not sure of their exact position and which way they were facing.  Knowing how bad the drainage was back then it would've stank worse than the laneways of Fitzroy & StKilda after the pubs closed on a Saturday night in summer. Were they put there to keep them out of sight (and smell) of the people on the busier streets nearby? Were they accessible 24/7? Was the cool looking light there back then? Was it a beat?